They can't order me to stop dreaming.

I'm a dreamer by nature, I can't help it. Today my mom and I rearranged furniture for my bridal shower, which won't be taking place for about 8 or 9 months. Sometimes I think I'm nuts, doing all these preparations for things that aren't happening for a long time, but then I think it's good to be prepared right? I sure hope so! Anyways, I know I've lost it when I start thinking about kids. Erik and I are not exactly on the same page when it comes to mini-Sosa's. He wants to wait 5 years, I'm thinking more like 2. I know it's common to disagree, but I get so caught up in my future sometimes I don't think about the now. No matter what though, I will never stop dreaming. It's impossible.


Now onto the babies thing... I've spent the last hour googling baby names. Erik and I have already talked names, but I can't help but think of ways to change them. I know everyone hates me for this, but I want to name a little girl Ariel. Or Ariella. Your all convinced my mermaid obsession has gone too far, but honestly, I do love the name. I mean, she's getting a Disney Princess name no matter what, so why argue? I don't know why I'm bringing this up, but I needed to vent, and that is what a blog is for... venting. Anyways, whether she ends up an Aurora or and Ariel, she will be the most amazing princess like child in the history of the world... and how do I know that? My dreams tell me so. <3

Anyways, onto wedding stuff. I'm almost done with my guest list, I just need a few more addresses and then the Save The Dates will be out! Ahh! So exciting. So staying on the subject of dreaming, I took a nap today and had the most wonderful vision of my reception. I actually woke up crying because I was so happy. I had no idea life could be this wonderful. Erik Sosa really is my prince charming.

I've also been having a hard time with things, well one thing. Meat. I don't want to serve meat at my wedding. It's just not going to happen. I have entertained the idea a couple times, trying to get away with it by telling myself "chicken isn't bad" or "it will make our parents happy". Honestly, everytime I entertain the idea I get queasy. I'm a vegetarian. I do this to give a voice to the voiceless. That is my entire crusade. Even though it wouldn't go anywhere near my mouth or Erik's, the basic problem is still there: I am supporting the eating of that meat by paying for it, and serving it to my guests. I mean, most of my friends don't eat meat. I don't know ANYONE who doesn't like pasta. Serving pasta would please everyone I think, and it would ease my woes. If I was a vegetarian for health reasons, I can see the logic behind serving chicken to my guests, but not as a compassionate and loving animal rights supporter. I would become the thing I despise most: a hypocrite.. and that is something I cannot and will not do. I'm just worried I will upset Erik's family. I love them all so much, but I know they aren't the biggest supporters of our diet of choice. I don't really know why, but I know they aren't. My mom respects my choice, but I know she wouldn't mind having a meat option at my wedding. I'm trying not to think about it. After all, it is MY day. It is the wedding of Erik and I. It's supposed to be a reflection of our personalities. So it will be. For all you meat eaters out there, I apologize if I am going to cause you any inconvience, but I think respecting my personal beleifs and my decisions would be the greatest honor you could ever do me, and the animals I fight so hard for.

Thank you so much.

Now that my emotions are all worked up, I'm going to sleep.
Goodnight.